Unfortunately, my friend might have been right.
Publicizing my work scares the crap out of me. There. I said
it. I hate advertising my books, I hate showing off my accomplishments, and I
hate asking for reviews. Not because I don’t think my writing is good enough,
but because I am afraid of rejection. Writing is personal – a little piece of
my soul is weaved through every book I write, so in essence, when someone criticizes
or rejects my work, I take it as a personal assault, even though I know I
shouldn’t.
Fear is a powerful thing. It’s what prevents me from
querying agents, spending money on marketing, and tackling the kind of writing
that digs deep into the psyche. Fear paralyzes, it dissembles, and it makes writing
difficult.
It also innervates the brain, helps produce astounding work,
and propels us forward. This is when the adrenaline kicks in, your brain slips
into overdrive, your emotions go into lockdown, and you’re forced to make an instinctual
decision. Fight or flight. Go big or stay home. Use it or lose it.
Just do it.
I have a love-hate relationship with this sly, sneaky thing
called fear. For now, I’m going to fold it up, stick in my back pocket and sit
on it. It could very well be the kick in the ass I need to get things done. This
is one F-word I plan to use to my advantage.
